Monday, October 23, 2006


While this may strike most people as just weird, conspiracy-theory paranoid blathering, I really AM afraid of a creeping political phenomenon which I believe is taking over the world.

I call it Costcommunism, or in the style of abbreviated American speech, more simply Coscommunism, which rolls off the tongue a little more easily.

Briefly, Coscommunism resembles communism in the following ways:

1. ideology - you must be a member in good standing. (substitute the word 'party' before member)
2. choices - costco makes the choices for you. Usually there is just ONE model of every category, a sort of Noah's Ark of consumerism. Costco usually goes for what they perceive to be the common good or the common taste, or something in the middle. Inevitably, in the fashion department, this results in bland, mediocre taste that I call Coscommie Fashion (not to be confused with Commie Fascism)
3. imagery and propoganda...

Regard the image above. Disregarding, for the moment, the image of the star which is a communist ideo-staple around the world, let's look at the whole concept of a membership card itself.
Does it not resemble something that a communist country might come up with? I mean, the whole idea of 'false exclusivity' that they create with this bogus membership idea, is reminiscent of some of the rantings of North Korea or something. (aren't they always saying that they are 'the only communists left' and how they must 'continue the good fight', etc, etc..?)

Another thing which communists are famous for is creating shortages of goods, resulting in scarcity black markets and such. I originally became a Coscommunist because I live in the Republic of Korea, a 'non-commie' country that has created its own unique shortage of goods through a system of protective tariffs and trade barriers. So, things like pesto, grapefruit, avocados, etc, that you may take for granted elsewhere were simply not availiable here for many years, though the market has opened up considerably. For these rare organic status symbols (avocados, unripe, used to go for six dollars apiece here - and I've seen cantalopes for over twenty, with a little gift card from the farmer thanking you personally), there was Costco - a rare twist on fate and history, that a form of communism, even if it was Coscommunism came to the rescue of a non-communist country.

But that was in the beginning. Since it's opening, Costco has been shutting down all of its luxury imports and has gone on a pogrom against these foreign invasions: to wit, since I joined, they have either been out of stock or completely discontinued the following items:

frozen blueberries (now they sell frozen cherries, at fifteen dollars a bag)
balsamic vinegar
Weber barbecues (during the heat of summer)
braided mozarella
spicy cajun sausage
Tillamook cheese (Oregonians unite!)

When one attempts to get help finding these non-or semi-existent items at Costco, when you talk to the Costco officials one encounters what you could only call a coscommunist work ethic or attitude:

Customer: "When will you have the Weber barbecues in stock?"
Costco: "Check back after summer"

or again:

Customer:"I can't find the frozen blueberries"
Coscommie: "What?"
Customer: "Frozen Blueberries. Blue...Ber--ies"
Coscommie: "What are those?"
Customer: "You know, like berries. Blue. Frozen"
Coscommie: (showing interest for the first time) "Oh! We have those? Where?"